Thinking Ink
by Jewels64
Summary: How come everyone thinks they know me?" Bella is determined to shake off preconceived notions about herself.She meets Edward Cullen the enigmatic keyboardist for the Coven.Can Bella discover herself with Edward or will his past come back to haunt them?


**Tattward and Inkella One Shot Contest**

**Title: Thinking Ink**

**Pen Name: Jewels64**

**Characters: Edward and Bella**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all the "Twilight" characters. I own four tattoos with a desire for more.**

**To see more entries in the Tattward and Inkella Contest, please visit the C2 page:**

**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Tattward_and_Inkella_Contest/71624/**

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_The moment the keyboard player pulled his shirt off I thought I was going to swoon. Not faint. Swoon. Just like all those silly vapor__-__affected girls in Jane Austen novels. The room seemed to get smaller along with my own lung capacity. Seriously. I couldn't breathe._

_My eyes focused on the all the dark ink that swirled in intricate patterns across his back. From where I was sitting__,__ I watched his muscles move bringing life to the fantastic images inked permanently into his skin. It was like watching anime come to life. I was sitting off to the left side of stage. I purposely chose to sit there because of him._

_My name is Bella Swan and I am a good girl on my way to Hell because of Edward Cullen._

***

"Newton, you pussy! Drink that shot and let's get our asses moving!" Tyler urged.

I watched in amusement as Mike attempted to down another shot. He was turning several shades of green and I knew he was moments away from hurling. I discreetly moved myself away from him. Mike could be a nice guy when he was sober; Drunk Newton was another story altogether.

"Fuck…." Mike uttered as he slammed the glass down on to the bar. "Where the fuck is the goddamned band?"

Everyone laughed knowing that Mike was close to being all kinds of hammered. I looked around at the group we had haphazardly assembled tonight to listen to the newest band that was getting major buzz on campus. Jessica and Lauren were trawling for the frat boys who were playing quarters at the bar. Some things never change. I was waiting for Angela to arrive so I could have someone else to talk to besides these inebriated fools.

Earlier in the day, Mike and Tyler had cornered me at the University Center.

"Bella -- did you hear that 'The Coven' are playing at NiteSpot tonight?" Mike asked. Newton was a 'close talker' and it bugged the shit out of me that he had to have bad breath on top of it. Halitosis from keggers was _not_ attractive.

Tyler interceded on Mike's behalf and pushed him out of the way. "Serious rage tonight Bella! Wanna join us?"

I thought about it for all of two seconds. I had been following 'The Coven' on their MySpace page ever since Jake had sent the link to me and I checked it out, curious to know what all the buzz was about. The music caught my attention first. It was passionate, for one thing. But interestingly, it had a lot of classical elements to it. Upon closer listening I had realized that the classical elements had come from the contributions of the keyboard player. I scanned their page looking for photos of the band members.

There he was --Edward Cullen.

Age: 21

Musical Influences: David Bowie, Debussy, Nine Inch Nails, Beethoven, Tool, Mozart,

Sex Pistols, Pachebel, The Ramones, Cole Porter, Muse, Gershwin

The list was amazing. The picture was even hotter. He was tall -- taller than the other members of the band. His bronze hair stood out like a crowning glory to all the beauty that lay beneath it. I have never been one to describe a man a 'pretty' but Edward Cullen was the closest thing I have ever seen to fitting that description.

I happened upon a picture that showed Edward shirtless during a performance. He had tattoo. In fact, his back was covered with them. It was absolute artwork. I stared at them running my fingers over my computer screen as I enlarged the photo. I was taken with one in particular. It was an image of a phoenix on his back. But there was so much imagery--beautiful, intense, sensual and powerful imagery. I was entranced by the idea that someone so diverse would permanently mark his body with such nihilistic art when his soul seemed to sing of nothing but the purity of music.

I spent the rest of the evening listening to their songs on my computer. I was hooked.

***

The band had already set up by the time we all arrived at the bar. It took us freaking forever to settle our bill at our local Fridays. Everyone had to pay separately and I was getting antsy wanting to get to the club to see if I could catch a glimpse of Edward.

I was becoming disappointed that I hadn't seen them yet. It was a small club and it wasn't as if they really had a backstage or anything. This was a college town. In places like this you were lucky enough to get a spot for a bar in a local strip mall, an license and two bathrooms that you could designate for each sex.

It took me a moment for my eyes to adjust as we came in from the remaining bright sunlight of the day. I blinked several times, trying to force my eyes to focus.

Our rag tag group managed to find a couple of free tables and we pulled them together. Pitchers of beer were ordered and the harried waitress plopped the plastic pitchers and a column of matching cups down with an unceremonious splash. Beer spilled onto my jeans.

"Damn it!" I muttered. Mike laughed at me.

"Look! Bella is all wet and the show hasn't even started!"

_Fucking Asshat._

I got up and wound my way through the growing crowd only to find myself stuck in a long line for the ladies room. I had to envy the male sex at the moment. Must be nice just to whip it out and pee in a sink if you had to.

I had finally reached the end of the queue for the ladies room when two very drunk girls stumbled up to me, tripping and running into everyone waiting.

"She's gonna hork!!!" One of the girls laughed. The other one didn't look so good. There are two smells in this world I can't handle. Blood and vomit. I pushed open the door quickly and let them go in ahead of me.

"She was lying, you know," I heard a smooth velvet voice say as it cut through the din of all the noise in the bar.

My head snapped up and I found myself face to face with Edward .

I couldn't breathe for a moment. I lost all capacity to speak.

_What the hell Bella? There he is! Say something!_

"Really?" I managed to squeak out.

_Fucking Brilliant. You are an English Lit major and that's all you can say? _

He smiled a half smile at me--a smirk really. His photographs didn't do him any justice. The intense, clear green of his eyes along with that sculpted jaw was creating some wicked voodoo in the southern regions below my belt.

"Uh….thanks, " I muttered as I tore my gaze from his perfect face.

_His face--it's not perfect. His nose has been broken._

I stood there hoping he wouldn't spot the wetness on the crotch of my jeans. Which by the way had become a real wet spot the moment he spoke to me. I watched as he shook his head and made his way back through the crowd.

Damn it. He was right here!

I turned and banged my head against the wall.

"It can't be that bad sweetie. No need to take your frustration out on an innocent wall."

I turned and found myself face to face with a blonde glamazon. It took me a moment and then I realized that this particular glamazon was the drummer for the band.

"You're Rosalie Hale?!" I gasped.

"The one and only. Are you gonna stand there just waiting or can we both go in and take care of business?"

I pushed the door open for her and followed her into the small cramped bathroom.

One stall. I was dying. I was doing the dance. But I had a chance to talk to Rosalie. I wanted to know more about _him._

"So was that the dude that plays keyboards in your band?" I tried to act nonchalant.

"Edward? Yeah…he's a fucking douche bag. A talented douche bag though."

Okay. This is not what I wanted to hear.

"I tried to get him interested in me, but he doesn't seem to give a shit. Too wrapped up in his own damage I guess," Rosalie said as she smiled at me in the reflection of the mirror over the sink.

"Still, you are the first girl I've actually seen him speak to in ages. If you're into one nighters I'd say give it a go," Rosalie smirked as she dried her hands with a paper towel.

"Yeah. Thanks -- but I think I'll pass," I said. "Have a good show tonight."

"Thanks cutie! Don't drink and drive okay?" Rosalie laughed as she left the bathroom.

My mind was preoccupied with images of Edward. Douche bag? How could such beautiful music come from someone described as a douche bag?

I finished up in the bathroom and wound my way back to our tables. My seat was already occupied by some skank that Mike had picked up. Sheesh.

The band walked out onto the stage and I caught a glimpse of Edward again. Before the lights came up I saw him staring at me. I met his gaze and he flashed me a crooked smile. I subconsciously moved to the side of the stage where his keyboards were situated. The resounding chords coming from the lead guitarist started to thrum through the bar. I watched as Edward pulled his shirt up over his head. He placed his fingers on the keys and turned to me once more.

I prepared myself for his music. Nothing prepared me for the sight of him actually playing it.

***

The band's set was long over and the band had adjourned themselves to the bar. I watched in fascination as girls came up and fawned all over Edward. He had put his shirt back on. Not before I noticed the small barbell pierced through one nipple though.

That small piece of steel caused my heart to flutter in my chest like bird's wings.

I did _not_ want to be one of _those _girls. I was content to stare at him from my safe distance. Another pitcher landed on the table and someone suggested playing Chandeliers. I hated that game. I always got too drunk too fast. I excused myself, claiming I needed fresh air.

I was standing outside on the meager patio near poor pitiful shrubbery threaded with mini white lights. I heard the strike of a match as the taint of sulfur filled the air. I turned and saw Edward leaning against a wall with one foot propped up against it. He was studying me through the hazy cloud of smoke he'd just expelled from his lungs.

"Too much for you in there?" He inquired as he picked a small piece of tobacco off his tongue. The sight of his tongue almost caused my knees to buckle.

_Oh. My. God. He's talking to me. Oh shit. Say something. Say something smart._

"No. Just don't feel like drinking until I see visions of a _white porcelain god _while I talk to _Ralph_ as he tries to sell me a _Buick." _

_Oh shit! That was stupid. Geez Bella you dork! _

"Nice to see someone who doesn't feel the need to kill brain cells." He admitted.

I watched as he took another drag from his cigarette. Holy Fuck! That shit was hot. I wasn't a fan of smoking but it just added to his mystique.

"What's your name?" He asked.

_And he's still talking to me! Breathe. Breathe. _

I turned around and looked behind me to see who he was talking to. It elicited a sharp bark of laughter from him.

"And the hottie has a sense of humor," he said as he shook his head, grinning ear from ear.

I laughed along with him. He squinted at me again.

"You look like you don't belong here" he remarked. I looked down at what I was wearing. I didn't think I looked that different. I wore simple jeans, Chucks and an embroidered blouse. I pulled my hair up onto the top of my head and wrapped it into a messy bun.

" I look like a lot of the girls in there." I challenged.

"No you don't. You look untouched. You don't seem jaded," he observed.

_He thinks you shouldn't be here. What the hell? God! I'm so fucking tired of everyone thinking they know me! _

"And who made you judge and jury?" I snapped at him, my expression turning serious as I cocked my head to one side.

"No one. I just find it refreshing," he admitted. Finishing his cigarette, he flicked it into the urn placed just outside the door.

"Want to get coffee later?" he asked. "I don't drink anymore."

I smiled at him despite feeling a little chagrined. "Coffee would be good."

Edward walked over to me. "What's your name hottie?"

_That's twice he's called me hottie! Could it be possible he finds me attractive?_

"Bella," I whispered, getting lost in the swampy moss green of his eyes.

"I'll be late. Do you mind waiting?" he asked.

_Are you fucking serious?_

"Uh….I'm supposed to leave with my friends. I don't have a ride."

"You do now." He leaned down and brushed my hair away from my neck. He leaned in and ran his nose along the column of my neck. "Delicious," he murmured against my skin. I felt fireworks shoot off inside my body like mad.

"See you after the next set Bella," he said as he winked at me and walked back into the noisy bar.

_***_

Coffee turned into breakfast. I had spent the late evening and most of the early morning with Edward. We spoke about his music, my love for literature, and even his shocking admission of being a recovering alcoholic.

"So how do you manage it? Being in a bar every night and not drinking?" I asked.

"It helps that Jasper is my sponsor. We met through AA a couple of years ago. Most of the band members abstain around us out of respect. Emmett? He's basically the muscle to stop us from making serious mistakes. Alice and Rose are saints. They put up with a lot of my shit. The pull to drink never goes away. It's something stronger than me. I just hated how much of a monster I was when I drank," he confessed candidly.

I was awed by his complete honesty. He had no qualms whatsoever about baring his soul to me. Fuck. No wonder he wrote the music that he did.

"So I told you my secret Bella. What's yours?" He leaned in and brushed my hair over my shoulder.

I shivered from the contact of his fingers against the skin on my neck. I was lost in the shape of his mouth. His full bottom lip almost begged to be sucked on.

"I …. I…" I started. "Don't laugh at me."

His smile was slow and sweet. "Nothing you could ever admit to would make me laugh at you. Unless I'm way off base and you are transgendered and I've wasted my whole evening wondering what it would be like to kiss you."

I laughed until the full realization of what he said seared its way into my brain.

_He wants to kiss me._

"I have only one secret Edward. I've hidden it from my father for years, " --I admitted trying to steer the course of the conversation away from the idea of his tongue in my mouth.

"Naughty Bella. I think I like this side of you. What is it?" he teased gently.

It irritated me to no end that he thought I was so white bread. I took a quick look around the restaurant and realized that at 4:30 a.m. you pretty much have the place to yourself.

"This. This is my secret, " I whispered with a triumphant smirk as I yanked my top down and exposed my breast to him. The tattoo right above my left nipple was inked in delicate script and decorated with flames. The words read: Desire. Truth. Freedom.

Edward's eyes widened with appreciation. "The hottie sports ink. Nice," he said with a low growl, licking his lips.

He reached his hand out and briefly ghosted the pads of his fingers over the script inked on my flesh. He stared at the words on my breast, his expression thoughtful, yet curious.

"Tell me Bella --what do you desire? What is your truth? And do you have the freedom to express both those enigmatic words?" he asked, his brows drawn together as he attempted to pull my deepest secrets from me.

My nipples hardened immediately and I felt an intense longing flood through my core. How did he know? How did he know exactly what to say? He knew his questions resonated through my body. I just met him and yet he provoked not only my mind and my body but he did it with effortless ease.

_Do it Bella! The fucking Satan of Sin is sitting across from you with his fingers on your breast. Don't be a coward. Here's your chance._

"You. You Edward. I desire you," I answered bravely even though I could barely look at him and my cheeks flamed with fire.

Edward smirked at me. "Is that true? Or do you flash that beautiful breast just to get approval that you are more than ordinary?"

His stinging words had a sobering effect on me. I was mortally embarrassed that I had put myself out there only to have him make fun of me. I pulled my top back up and fished into the pockets of my jeans. I pulled out a twenty dollar bill and slammed it on the table as I got up. I was angry.

"How dare you! Here is some truth for you. You are a smug S.O.B. who happens to know just how good looking he is. You manipulate women into thinking they need to come to your aid when you fully know how to take care of yourself. You use your sobriety like a fucking medal. Well, fuck you. Fuck you Edward Cullen. I don't need this shit."

I jumped up from the table and rapidly made my way to the exit. Tears were starting to flow down my face. I got out the door of the restaurant when I realized that I hadn't driven here.

I sat my ass down on the curb in the parking lot and cried into my hands. This was so fucked up. Damn him! Damn him to Hell! I put myself out there and it just blew up in my face. Why the hell did I expect Edward Cullen to be different? Stupid. I was hopelessly stupid.

"Bella?" I heard his mellifluous voice behind me. It was tender and soft.

"Go away. Peddle your broken ass shit to someone else," I spat through my tears.

"No," he replied.

"Why me?" I answered in a miserable murmur.

Edward came around and knelt down in front of me. He reached out with his thumb and wiped away the tears from my cheek.

"Why not you?" he murmured back, his eyes were soft and searching. He was staring at me with such earnest. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and wiped it on my jeans.

"Come on. Let me drive you home," he stood up and held his hand out to me. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up from the curb.

"Only because I don't have a ride." I hiccupped slightly. We walked over to his car. It was a poor old beat up Volvo that suited him.. Edward opened the passenger side door for me. I got in and Edward leaned over the top of the car door.

"I'm sorry I made you cry. I tend to be a dick sometimes," he apologized. He cast his eyes downward. He looked so lost. Almost vulnerable. Like a little boy being caught in a lie.

_Pull yourself together Swan. Don't let him get to you. You still have your pride….right?_

"Ha! You think?" I glared back at him. He wasn't going to worm his way back into my good graces that easily. I found him to be extremely frustrating -- cutting me down one moment only to turn around and be the perfect gentleman the next.

Edward closed the door and came around to the driver's side and got in.

"You're tougher than I gave you credit for. You have a bit of temper don't you?" he teased gently. I watched his long slender fingers take the keys from his jacket pocket

and put them into the ignition. He flipped on the stereo and Shinedown's 'Sound of Madness' filled the interior of the car.

I gave Edward the directions to my apartment as he pulled out of the parking lot. His driving frightened me a little. But then again, almost everything about Edward frightened me a little. I kept stealing glances at his profile as we drove. His jaw was sharp and the stubble that covered it justmade him more appealing. He had a habit of raking his teeth over his full bottom lip. I watched his hands as they gripped the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to go white occasionally. I remembered the light touch of his fingers on my breast and I flushed red.

_His silence is killing me. What is he thinking about? _

We pulled up in front of the old house that I lived in. The owner had refurbished it into four separate apartment, and mine was on the second floor. Edward was at my car door before I had even had a chance to open it.

_Is he for real? Who opens doors for women anymore? This man was a walking contradiction. Rough and crass one moment, gentle and polite the next. _

I thanked him as I got out. I pulled my keys out and I was so nervous that they managed to slip out of my fingers. Edward caught them before they hit the ground. As he handed them back to me his skin touched mine and I felt a slight jolt pass between us.

_Holy Crow! How does he do that?_

I motioned to the staircase that ran up the side of the building. "Yeah. This is me. Thanks for coffee and breakfast," I managed to stammer out.

"Which reminds me I think this belongs to you." Edward reached into the pocket of his ripped jeans and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

I took the money from him and stuffed it into my pocket. "Thank you," I mumbled awkwardly.

I made my way to the stairs with Edward following close behind me. I could practically feel the heat from his body he was so close. I fumbled with the keys again and this time Edward took them from me and unlocked my door for me.

"Can I come in?" He leaned against the door frame and waited for my answer.

_Say yes. Do it. This is what you want. Don't be a chicken shit._

"Won't you let me in Bella?" he purred with a dangerous smirk.

The double meaning of his words caused me to shiver. He brazenly opened the door and walked into my apartment. I stood there stunned for a moment. I followed him in quickly, almost slamming the door behind me.

"Are you thirsty? Can I get you some water?" I asked him. I was trying to stop my heart from hammering in my chest. He shrugged his jacket off and laid it on the arm of the couch, staring at me the entire time. His eyes darkened as he started to walk towards me.

"No. I don't want water," he cooed in a low voice. The sound of it caused me to take a step backward--yet he kept advancing towards me.

"What do you want?" I stammered. My body started to shake. I took another step backwards and found myself up against a wall.

"The same thing you want Bella. Desire…." His fingers ran up my arm and he casually brushed the swell of my breast. My nipples hardened. Edwards tongue came out and wet his lips. His other hand found its way into my hair and he pulled me towards him. My eyes fluttered shut; my breathing turned into ragged little bursts. His lips touched mine. They were so soft. Gentle. He kissed me once, pulled back and then kissed me again -- only this time the kiss was a little harder. I moaned softly as Edward gently slid his tongue into my mouth.

_Oh fuck me. That feels better than I imagined. _

My fingers fisted into his hair and I kissed him back. He pushed me back up against the wall and pushed his leg in between mine. I found myself grinding against his thigh as he broke the kiss and started kissing my neck. He traced the warm wet point of his tongue over my collarbone. I was becoming so wet. I grabbed his t shirt and started to pull it off of him. Edward stopped for a moment and let me take his shirt off.

_I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm doing this._

I lay my hands against the hard planes of his chest. I lowered my head and flicked my tongue out over that small piece of metal that pierced his nipple. Hearing him groan caused me to become bolder. I reached down and unbuckled his belt. Edward frantically pulled my shirt up over my head. He tugged my bra strap down my arm exposing my tattoo. He traced the design with his tongue. His fingers rolled pinched my other nipple. He startede to suck on my breast, taking as much of it into his mouth as he could. I was starting to pant. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away.

"Do you want me to stop?" He looked surprised. I unhooked my bra and let it drop to the floor. I decided there was no turning back now and I sure as fuck didn't want to.

"Fuck no!" I exclaimed as I undid the buttons on my jeans and slid out them. I was standing in front of him wearing nothing but my panties. I let him look at me. His eyes grew hooded and I could see the desire in them. I threw all caution to the wind and took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. I lay back on the bed and watched as he started to take his jeans off. I knew he was hard. I had felt his erection when I undid the buckle on his belt.

As he slid his jeans and boxers off I felt my breath catch in my throat. Edward took his cock into his hand and slowly stroked it as he stared down at my body. I took my bottom lip in between my teeth. He was big.

_Fuck! He's not going to fit all that inside me!_

Edward crawled onto the bed with leonine grace. He looped his fingers through the waist band of my panties and pulled them down my legs. I gasped as his tongue made teasing circles on my ankle, made its way up my calf muscle and then I felt rough scrape of his stubble on my thighs. I didn't realize I was holding my breath and had fisted the sheets into a death grip.

"Jesus…" I finally managed to whisper.

"Feel good?" He murmured against my thigh and then he dragged his tongue upward getting ever closer. My body was humming from his touch. Edward pushed my thighs apart farther. My eyes practically rolled back into my head as his finger slid between the slicked petals of my sex.

"You're so wet for me Bella. Let me taste you. I want to feel you on my tongue."

"Please…" I whimpered. His fingers parted me and his tongue made contact with my clit. I arched my hips up toward him granting him more access.

"Oh god…oh….oh…." His tongue traced circles at first and then he truly licked me. He sucked and nibbled and I couldn't stop moving my hips. He dipped his tongue inside me and my orgasm took me by surprise. I grabbed his hair and rode out the waves of my pleasure as he continued to feast on me.

_Oh holy mother of fuck….. _

I was panting his name over and over. Gradually the shudders subsided and Edward pulled himself up and laid his full weight on top of me. He kissed me and I could taste myself all over his lips.

"I need to be inside you Bella. I want to feel you come all around my cock." He whispered as he placed gentle kisses on my jaw. His fingers had found their way to my breasts and he lightly flicked at the hardened pink tips.

"Do you have something?" I asked him.

He laughed and I liked the way it caused his cock to rub against my thigh.

"I may be dangerous Bella but I'm not stupid." He rolled off me for a second and I moaned at the loss of his skin against mine. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a condom.

"Give it to me." I held my hand out. He smiled as he handed me the foil packet. I tore it open quickly. Edward lay back on the bed. I got up on my knees and put the condom on the tip of his cock. It was already slick from pre cum and it didn't take much to slide the latex sheath down the turgid length of his penis. _He was so fucking hard_. He lay back and raked his fingers through his hair. I sat there for one second and memorized every detail about his body. The defined 'V' of his hips, the way his cock lay on his stomach, the chest hair that delicately covered the defined muscles of his chest reminded me of a well carved statue. Except he was real and in my bed. I crawled up over him and took his cock in my hand. Edward placed his hands on my hips and pulled me forward.

"Are you sure?" He asked giving me one last chance to back out.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life." I said and I impaled myself on him. He filled me completely and I could feel myself stretching to have to accommodate all of him.

"Fuck!" He uttered. "You're so fucking tight."

I placed my hands on his chest and slowly I began to rock my hips getting used the feeling of him being inside me. My hair fell down in a heavy curtain around my face.

"Look at me Bella. I need to see you."

I flipped my hair back which caused my back to arch. Edward slid his thumb between our bodies and started stroking my clit. I clenched my muscles around him tightly making him utter another string of obscenities.

Both of us were panting and sweating now. I would slide all the way up almost to the point of him slipping out only to slam down hard onto his hipbones. The movements were getting faster and more frenzied.

"Bella, I'm…. I'm going to come….come with me…. I'm…." His eyes clenched shut and with a final thrust he pushed up into me expelling a loud 'FUCK' as he came. My own mind numbing release came right after his. I collapsed onto his chest tying to calm my breathing. His heart was beating a wild staccato in his chest.

Edward flipped me over onto my back and gently removed himself from inside me. He got up quickly and disposed of the condom. He came back to the bed and gathered me into the warm embrace of his arms. I snuggled into the crook between his arm and his chest. I listened to his heart slowly beginning to calm down. It was a soothing sound and I was getting very sleepy. Edwards's fingers ran up and down my back.

"Thank you,." I whispered against his skin. "I…. I….."

"Sshhhh. Just sleep Bella. We'll look for truth and freedom later."


End file.
